Sunday, March 10, 2013

Memories are still full of emotion

Yesterday afternoon we spent helping Judge's dad and sister move into a new house.  Mostly unpacking boxes, figuring out where to put things in cabinets, matching up sets, pantry items and so forth...

This was the first time I had been in the new house.  I had looked at it online and knew the basic layout and what the outside looked like.  I have known no other house except the house they lived in for 20 years.  Judge and I have been married for 18 years this November.

A lot of changes occured in the house with both of Judge's nieces growing up, married (one even had her wedding in the backyard), they both have the most beautiful children.  Then grandmother (my mother in law) passed away 2 years ago this coming week.  Each day she was taken care of tenderly by grandaddy, Judge's sister and Judge.  Judge was able to spend evenings with her.  Talked to her and held her hand every night.  Kissed his mom goodnight before coming home.  Judge's sister spent countless hours taking care of her mom before and after work.  Judge's dad stopped playing golf each day and stayed home to be close at all times.  A lot of emotions were shared with Judge's family during grandmothers struggle with Alzheimers.  This picture was one of the last ones that I took of her and it was the fall before her passing.  She and I would sit in the chairs and cross stitch all day (before I had children).  I remember a time when all the guys were replacing their roof and we just sat and stitched and then made sure they had plenty to drink and lunch was served.  We enjoyed driving to Nashville just to take the kids to the mall and do a little shopping.  And we also found the stitching stores!  She enjoyed stitching the stamped cross stitch projects later on.  Crossword puzzles and even liked to color!  I remember Judge's sister bringing home things to be cut or colored from her classroom and that is what she did.  She took me to her woman's club and introduced me to all of her friends after we picked 2 of them up because they couldn't drive themselves.  She taught me a lot about table settings and the formal upbringing she had.

There are still things I don't know and never have been taught.  Today when we were setting the table for family dinner I watched Judge's sister pick out a table cloth.  They were organized and labeled by how many people can be seated at the table.  I would have never thought of that, nor do I know how to buy a table cloth.  We are still in kid stage here where they make messes and a table cloth may not be practical for us now but eventually it will be and I want to know these things.  I want to know how to use this knowledge to pass on to my children.

Their dog stayed by her side and even learned how to back up to her chair so that she could be picked up.  Or if grandmother was in the bed, Lily would lay next to her or at the foot of the bed.  Animals definitely can sense things.

Back to the new house...
I didn't see the movers move things out of the old house and take them to the new house.  We arrived after the packers delivered all of the boxes.  So, as I said, my first time in the house and I am wandering around.  I see the office, Judge's sisters room, her (girl) bathroom, kitchen, bonus room, garage, sunroom and then I get to grandaddy's room and I lost my head.  I looked at their bed and was consumed with an overwhelming feeling of grief.  I wasn't able to see his bathroom or closet...I just had to walk out.  Cry a bit on my own. Thought I had it all out until I sat down next to grandaddy and he asked me if I was ok.  Oh the fountains were gushing then.  No I wasn't ok, because grandmother is missing.  Just looking around you see grandmother's stitching, linens, coats, same pink towels, bed emotion seemed like piddles when Judge's sister shared about how it felt to drive away. More fountains...

We returned to the new house today to help with some more things but most importantly to gather as a family for "Family Dinner". We had a proper tablecloth, placemats with plastic cutlery and plastic plates! LOL  Kids played outside on skateboards, scooters, replace basket ball  goal and played iwth chalk.

Today was a good day.  The weekend was exhausting! :)